When an individual is just getting started with the process of Jewish dating, it is a mistake to speak or act in a way that will make the other person anxious.  If you are perceived as trying to rush what should be a normal and stately process between two people deciding whether they want to be married, you will create tremendous anxiety in the other person.  You may even unknowingly scare the other person off.  If a man, for example is feeling quite comfortable with the other person, he may be relaxed enough to talk about personal details regarding his own life.  If he gets too specific, the young woman may feel uncomfortable because it is more information that she wanted to know, at least during the initial stages of their relationship.  Instead of continuing with the next step of the Jewish dating system, she may elect to back off from anything further in the relationship.

Another common error regarding making the other person anxious is to be too effusive with compliments and praise, even to the point where it makes the other person uncomfortable.  It may be acceptable to indicate that you enjoyed the date, but will probably cause a squirmy reaction if you finish the first or second date by gushing about how much you like them and how amazing they are in your eyes.  This type of attitude may make the date uncomfortable because it appears that you are far more affected by the relationship than the date is. It may create unnecessary anxiety if a woman asks when the third date will occur after the second date.

Although Jewish dating is a fairly proscribed system and both parties may be verbally committed to it, others may find it difficult to go on more than one or two dates because they are not truly deep down committed.  They may not even have admitted this to themselves. May be on one hand they have a desire to find a suitable person to date in order to develop a relationship that becomes marriage.  On the other hand there is a part of them which is absolutely terrified.

A difficult childhood or adolescence which involves secrets may cause concern about revealing this secret to the other person in the Jewish dating system. If they have family members who have divorced, or who have difficult marriages, they may be uncertain whether marriage is good for them.  There is nothing wrong with having mixed feelings about dating and even marriage.  However, if you don't work through the issues and resolve the ambivalent feelings you probably shouldn't continue to date at the present.

A therapist or mentor can probably help you with the feelings.  If you decide that there is something else that you want to be doing with your life before settling down, that's perfectly acceptable.  You should do what you need to do according to your own priorities. When you are truly ready, then you can begin the Jewish dating process once again.